Best Life Coach for Older Men in Austin: Jon Zieve
Jon Zieve has been helping me gain my confidence back. I think he’s one of the best Life Coaches in Austin for older Men. Here’s why:
Thank you so much for taking time to do this interview with me, Jon. Since most of my blog readers are older men, I thought I would share your services and expertise so as to help anyone needing help in their lives.
So, the first question is, do you only work with people locally in Austin, or do you work with people outside Austin as well?
“Both. I’ve worked with more people remotely (outside of Austin including Canada) than in Austin.
I have a client in Austin that calls me instead of coming to my office because he is too busy to deal with the traffic in Austin.
I find working over the phone can be more beneficial than in person for several reasons:
Fewer distractions – provided the client has their laptop closed (no risk of multi-tasking), it’s easier to listen deeper without the distractions of being face to face.
Less threatening – It can also be easier to access our emotions and imagination.
More efficient – no need to schedule commute time.”
What kind of “problems” do you help people with?
“The kind of problems I help people with are any that cause pain and inflexibility in our lives. Listening to our body we know what pain and inflexibility feels like.
But we can also pay close attention to feel how pain and inflexibility impacts our relationships with partners, kids, parents and those we work with.
It can cause defensiveness, the need to be in control, the need to be right, a lack of playfulness, a lack of intimacy, co-dependence, passive-aggressive behavior, unclarity about job/career and purpose, etc.
At some point (in childhood) we all unconsciously closed our hearts to protect ourselves. Underneath all “problems” is anger, fear and/or grief. We all want to receive and give more love.
I help clients trust themselves by acknowledging their anger, fear and grief, which allows love back into their life by opening their hearts and being present.”
That sounds great. If I were an older man who hadn’t really explored my feelings before and had a lot of anxiety what would you suggest I do?
“It depends upon the man’s willingness to explore his feelings on his own. It’s probable he might not feel comfortable doing this by himself.
If not, I would recommend he do this with a trained therapist or coach.
If he is willing to explore his feelings on his own, this is the process I recommend:
Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths into your heart and pay attention to your body for any sensations.
Describe these sensations in detail (location in the body, color, texture (hard, soft, rough, smooth), smell, etc.).
Describe the feeling or emotion associated with each sensation.
Write down what you discover.”
That’s powerful. Breathing into your heart is a new method that you introduced to me and it really gets me deep quick into a nice meditation.
I wanted to switch to childhood trauma.
I heard a little about your traumatic experience on a recent podcast about you going to a summer camp when you were around twelve and they made you swim.
It was traumatic for you. I had a similar experience being left at a week long summer camp when I was twelve and hating every minute of it.
Do you think as adults we are still carrying these traumas inside and do you think we still “act them out” in a negative way and is there something you suggest we can do?
“Yes, great question, Erik.
I believe any trauma or emotion that was unconsciously resisted as a child still lives in our bodies.
We resist emotions when we feel threatened. Children can learn to resist negative emotions from their parents if their parents model this behavior.
The word Emotion means Energy in motion. Energy is meant to move through us as a form of expression.
When we aren’t able to express ourselves or resist for any reason, the energy that was set in motion is not able to move out of our body.
The consequence is stuck energy in our body which can manifest as tension, tightness, stiffness, pain, inflexibility, disease and even illness.
While it might seem we “act trauma out” in a negative way (by sedating unfelt emotions with addictive behavior), the universe will conspire to put us back in as many situations as necessary to re-experience our unfelt emotions.
When we allow emotions to move through us in the form of expression (either feeling the emotion or expressing how we feel to others) we become integrated and the need to act out to suppress or sedate ourselves goes away.”
When we first met, you introduced me to a brilliant book called, Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini. I would like to read you a passage and can you tell me what it means to you.
“Only the authentic person – one who honors his own truth – is capable of intimacy with another. Only the respectful person – one who honors the other person’s truth – is capable of being himself fully.”
“The quote “Only the authentic person – one who honors his own truth – is capable of intimacy with another. Only the respectful person – one who honors the other person’s truth – is capable of being himself fully.”
This quote means to me that we honor ourselves by accepting ourselves unconditionally. To me this means we don’t try to please others for fear of how they will react.
We express our emotions without trying to control others.
Intimacy to me means Into Me See. If there are parts of ourself that we don’t accept, we won’t allow others to see these parts.
If we find fault with others, we see a reflection of a part of ourself we resist. We can accept others when we accept ourselves.”
One last question, Jon and thanks for your time doing this.
Out of the hundreds of Life Coaches in texas, what makes you unique or different than the rest?
“I believe we (coaches) all have something unique to offer.
What makes me unique is what I resisted in myself the most, which is being too sensitive and trying to be nice.
I unconsciously felt I had to grow up, toughen up and become less sensitive in order to fit in and be successful. I unconsciously learned to be nice to try to please others as a form of control.
I didn’t realize the consequences of abandoning my sensitive self and pleasing others was being in-authentic, but when I did, it hit me very hard.
I didn’t like who I had become. It takes a practice of self-compassion and forgiveness to accept what we don’t like about ourselves to become authentic.
If someone has settled for a life of pleasing others and experiencing less joy, innocence and creativity, it doesn’t have to be this way. I can be of service.”
Thank you, Jon.
Let’s keep the Conversation going
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