My wife is an energy healer and she’s been working on me. Each time she does a session on me it gets deeper. Here’s what we uncovered today: Cool Kids don’t Get Scared.
My very first embarrassing experience I remember was when I was around four years old. There was a parade at our school and there was a cute girl sitting next to me. I remember trying to act cool as we talked a little.
In my mind, I thought maybe she was my girlfriend because we spoke, but whatever was going on in my mind would be shattered in a few minutes.
As I was being smooth with this girl, a marching band approached. My ears were very sensitive back then and I remember the drums approaching. The loud banging of the drums made me scared. I couldn’t take it. The drums were too loud.
I covered my ears and began to cry. The girl looked over at me and she looked so concerned. I couldn’t hear her. I just kept crying. I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I ran away and never saw her again.
“Cool kids don’t get scared.”
When I was older, I was at my parent’s rental business. I was about 12. I had really bad gas pains and was in the bathroom nealt over and crying. A customer was speaking with my dad at the counter and heard me. He asked my dad if I was okay. I was really embarrassed.
“Cool kids don’t get scared.”
Couple years later, my friend got me to finally face a bully that had been pestering me for years at school. We met outside to fight, when suddenly I backed down.
“Cool kids don’t get scared.”
When I was 18, I visited my uncle in Reno. He was a drunk and I wanted to fit in so I drank with him. Suddenly, I got homesick and wanted to drive home that night, a 20 hour drive.
I wouldn’t listen to his reasoning to stay and sober up and he finally got mad enough to hold me up against the wall by my shirt. I fell to the ground, began crying and ran upstairs to my room like a little scared boy. . .
“Cool kids don’t get scared.”
There’s many more examples like this which have programmed me to not open up and be vulnerable around people. I avoid eye contact. I drank. I tried to escape reality anyway I could.
Then, I got sober and had a panic attack around my parents.
I was still trying to act a certain way – brag to my dad at the dinner table how great I was doing when the room went silent and beads of sweat rolled down my face.
“Cool kids don’t get scared.”
But my dad had a serious temper, trained me to be like a gun shy dog.
Always in fight or flight – mostly flight.
Apparently, doing this kind of spiritual work lately, has changed my perspective.
Maybe a past life is repeating a pattern in this life.
Another energy healer said I had a story around my aura that stated: “I tried, but failed.”
And, demons love when we think we failed – they can tag along in our lives for many generations – looking for holes in our conscience to climb into – then add demon alcohol to the mix – wonder why they call it demon alcohol. Look at alcohol related crime and violence maybe.
I blacked out every night, and that opens up portals for demons.
But, then I had a guardian angel drive me home every night when I could barely walk but chose to drive. Only a few parked cars got in the way as I drove home.
Okay, on a tangent. . .
So, Misha, my energy healing wife, found the theme of my life: “Cool kids don’t get scared.”
And, we turned it around to state: “Real men get Vulnerable.”
It’s completely okay to look into someone’s eyes and feel vulnerable.
Vulnerable is the heart opening for the first time – letting its guard down, and the eyes are the window to the soul. Both of those things scare the crap out of me, but I’m trying.
I am trying on the training wheels of life that help me get back into humanity as a whole person – one who feels worthy and has a special place, amongst adults, not still feeling like a drunk kid who was just scared and running.
I love you Misha and I am beginning to love myself.
“Real men get vulnerable.”
Want an Energy healing Session? Ask Misha HERE.
