Today, I did my second session with an energy healer over the phone. She specializes in Chakra alignment and told me my chakras have improved, but I am spot grounding. So, What is “Spot Grounding” in Energy Work?
Last 10 years I have been sober, but I “float away” with music, am not grounded in the present moment, and get social anxiety around people.
My M.O. is to float away from reality and I’ve been doing it since I rocked back and forth on the floor watching the Muppet Show since I was 8.
When I was 17 I discovered alcohol and that helped me float away from reality as well.
Now, I am 45, and I want to land back into reality, embrace people, and be completely present with people and my wife. I want to be able to look people in the eyes and not feel scared or inadequate.
I want to own my life, but I feel like I am punishing myself for something I did in the past, or possibly from a previous life or many lives in my family’s alcoholic lineage.
I am a perfectionist with a low self-esteem.
When I start feeling good about myself, I sabotage it by doing stupid things.
The key is to love myself without trying to be perfect.
Since I try to be perfect, I expect my wife and friends to be perfect, and start to micromanage them.
This is so tiresome, and no one is perfect obviously.
I can’t relax.
So, last week, my Chakra Energy Healer worked on my chakras and discovered that chakras one through three were tiny, trying to rotate clockwise or not moving at all. These chakras are responsible for confidence, self-esteem, self-love etc.
My upper chakras were healthy and the sixth and seventh were very large. That means that I liked floating into other realms and realities and had no problem embracing alternate universes and higher consciousness.
But, it was the lower chakras that needed healing.
I had a lot of trouble staying present with my surroundings, and found myself floating away a lot.
Something inside or outside of me is not wanting to be here.
The energy healer said I had a tone that sounded like “I tried but failed.”
That was my story that she felt, whether that story was all mine or partly from my lineage or a darker energy trying to hold me down.
“I tried but I failed.”
I think that is haunting my dad as well. He had a very abusive alcoholic father, so my dad overcompensated the disorder of his upbringing by being a perfectionist as well.
He restores cars and old equipment, and the cars come out show quality – they win first place at big car shows, but I think deep down my dad feels that he is not enough because of his asshole dad.
It is a long chain reaction from one asshole dad to the next, or maybe it is deeper than that. Who knows.
So, the energy healer said that I was “spot grounding” now.
That apparently is a sign of progress since the first session I had with her.
Spot grounding refers to me coming down to reality and being present, but only partially.
I am focusing more on being present, which is actually enlarging my lower chakras and shrinking my larger upper chakras – which will balance all of them eventually.
Along with balancing my chakras, Misha and I moved into the woods outside of Boone, North Carolina. We have a creek that runs year round and we can hear it from our bed. We leave the windows open at night and it really feels like we are camping.
Nature is the most powerful therapy for righting oneself.
I wrote about nature as the most inexpensive therapy in another article, and I really believe it.
We have only been here 25 days and I feel completely stronger – and I stopped rocking back and forth.